Parents are aware of the distractions and mental health issues associated with smartphones and social media. But teachers say parents may not realize how big these challenges are in schools.
One culprit? Parents who ask stream-of-consciousness questions themselves add to the atmosphere of constant disruption and distraction to learning. Even if cell phones are regulated or banned in schools, it is difficult for teachers to enforce them. And the constant whirring of clocks and cell phones is taking up valuable brain space, whether your kids are spying on you or not.
Small changes in parents' behavior can help make cell phones less disruptive at school. Here's what teachers and experts recommend:
Don't text your kids at school
Although many parents stay in touch with their children through text messaging, school is where the focus is on learning and developing independence. Teachers say they can also contact their children if plans change or a family emergency arises. Just contact the office.
If the message is not urgent, you can wait.
Think of it like this: “What if you come to a school and say, ‘Can you teach my child calculus and tell them something that’s not important?’ We will refuse.” said Erin Rettig, a school counselor at Central Virginia.
Teachers emphasized: They're not saying parents are to blame for school cell phone fights, they're just saying parents could do more to help. For example, tell your child not to text home unless it's urgent. And if it does, ignore it.
“When your child texts you something that can wait, like ‘Can I go to Brett’s house five days from now?’ — Don’t respond,” said Sabine Polak, one of three mothers who co-founded the Phone-Free Schools movement. “You need to stop participating,” she said. “It just adds to the problem.”
Other social media distractions can arise when students take out their phones to respond.
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Many parents have become accustomed to constant contact with their children as they do online school from home during the COVID-19 pandemic. They have continued to communicate even as life has returned to normal.
“We call it the digital umbilical cord. Parents cannot leave it alone. And they should,” Clement said.
Parents may not expect their children to respond to text messages immediately (many do). But when students take out their phones to respond, other social media distractions can arise.
anxiety through texting
At parent workshops, Rettig, a school counselor in Virginia, says that by sending messages to parents, tracking their children's whereabouts and checking their grades every day, they are creating anxiety in children. This does not provide space for children to be independent at school.
Some teachers say they receive emails from parents immediately after children return graded tests before the end of class because they feel (or are told) to report grades to parents immediately.
Dr. Libby Milkovich, a developmental and behavioral pediatrician at Children's Mercy in Kansas City, says she asks parents to think about what their children might be missing out on by holding their hands with their parents during the school day. .
“By texting with their parents, children are unable to practice self-soothing or problem-solving skills,” Milkovich said. “Texting is easy, but if you don’t have a cell phone, you have to go ask the teacher or figure it out yourself.”
Some children who oppose school cell phone bans say it helps to contact their parents when they feel anxious at school. For children with severe anxiety who are accustomed to texting their parents for reassurance, Milkovich suggests setting limits in stages so the child can gradually practice having more independence. She urges her parents to ask themselves: Why does my child need constant access to the phone?
“Parents often say, ‘I want to be available to my child at any time,’ and that has nothing to do with the child’s outcome. “It’s because of my parents’ anxiety,” he said.
Beth Black, a high school English teacher in the San Francisco Bay Area, tells parents to consider confiscating their children's old cell phones.
Her school requires students to place their phones in a special phone holder when they enter the classroom. But she saw her students hiding old, unused phones there and holding on to the ones that worked.
Like many teachers, she says phones aren't the only problem. There is also an issue with the earbuds.
“Forty percent of our students have at least one earbud on when they come to class,” Black said. “Kids listen to music by plugging their phones into a holder and use one earbud to listen to music during class.” said.
Turn on notifications
Parents controlling texts can only go so far. So work with your child to turn off some or all of the notifications that steal your attention.
To prove just how disruptive smartphones can be, Clement ran an in-class experiment where he asked students to turn off their phones' silent mode and turn on notifications for two minutes.
“I heard a buzzing, buzzing, buzzing sound for two minutes. “It sounded like an old video arcade,” he said.
Many studies have shown that students frequently check their phones during class. A study by Common Sense Media last year found that teens receive as many as 237 notifications per day. About 25% of them appear during school hours, mostly from friends on social media.
“Every time we get distracted, it takes a lot of brain power and energy to get back on task,” says Emily Cherkin, a Seattle-based teacher and consultant who specializes in screen time management.
Teachers say the best cell phone policy at school is to physically remove phones from children. Otherwise it's difficult to compete.
“When the phone in your pocket vibrates, people's focus is now on their pocket. And they wonder, 'How can we bring it to the table?' How do I check?'” said Randy Freiman, a high school chemistry teacher in upstate New York. “You asked them questions, and they never heard a word you said. Their brains are elsewhere.”