Become an adult who is easy to ask questions
“My daughter is 9 and almost 10. She has questions about her body. How should I talk to my child about puberty?!”*
Short answer: We’re glad your child came to you with questions! It's awesome that you want to talk about puberty with your kids! This means you are already an “adult who can ask.”
Kristen Gilbert, Director of Education at Options, explains being an adult who can ask questions: “Someone who welcomes questions and engages thoughtfully and kindly, even when the questions are difficult. “Children know that it’s okay to ask questions and that adults are trustworthy sources of information.”
At Sex Sense, we get questions like this a lot from parents/guardians/aunts/uncles/grandparents/trusted adults. They're looking for age-appropriate, factual, scientific information for teens and good advice on how to talk to kids about puberty.
If you are helping raise a preschooler or teen, a non-binary child, a son or daughter, or are being asked difficult questions about their body, emotions, gender, or sexual orientation, check out the resources below and feel free to ask questions. Contact us. (You may also ask questions about sexually transmitted diseases, abortion, contraception, pleasure, clinics, sexual difficulties… well, you get the idea! Everything is possible under the sun of sexual health).
Gone are the days of “The Talk.” You may not download information about a child just once. We now know that the dialogue must continue and that channels of communication must be kept wide open.
Young people also need to have access to reliable resources that allow them to research and process things on their own time. And adults, too, need resources to help them consider how best to communicate with the children in their lives and what information to provide. Here is a sample of what we can share:
Resources on how to talk to your child about puberty
First of all, I recommend this book to any parent or guardian. Talk about sex today: What kids need to know and how adults can teach them Written by Saleema Noon and Meg Hickling, two of BC's local sexual health superstars! This book covers 'what you need to know' for preschoolers through teenagers, and can be found at your local library or bookstore.
Here are some amazing online resources:
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/parents/tips-talking
Like many of us, you may have had a bit of a lack of sex education growing up, so it may be difficult to answer the question for yourself. If you think it would be helpful to understand more of the science and culture around periods to answer your child's questions, and you enjoy listening to podcasts, here's an amazing podcast.:
Welcome to Menstruation at the Vagina Museum Podcast (Episode 1, 2022) – Yes. (There is a Vagina Museum and yes, there is also a Vagina Museum podcast! It’s one of our favorites. More on that in another blog post! On to other stories! ). This episode takes period positivity to a whole other level and we are here for it! The special guest and expert is none other than<의 작가 타라 코스텔로>am. red Moon Gang, This is a book I will recommend in a moment!
Here are some useful websites for teens/“tweens” and their parents:
https://amaze.org/
https://www.kidshealth.org/en/kids/grow/
Resources for Your Child About Puberty
Now, I recommend the following books to 9-year-olds or 8-12 year olds (I'll do my best to cover other age groups in future posts):
Red Moon Gang: A Comprehensive Guide to Your Period Tara Costello. “An inclusive, accessible and shameless coming of age story.”
sex is a funny word By Corey Silverberg. “A comic book for children that includes children and families of all configurations, orientations, and gender identities, Sex Is a Funny Word is an essential resource about bodies, gender, and sexuality for children ages 8 to 10, as well as their parents and guardians. no see. .”
Corey Silverberg Books You know, sex. (10 years and older) “You know, sex. “This is the first thoroughly modern sex education book for all bodies, covering not only the three pillars of puberty—hormones, reproduction, and development—but also power, pleasure, and how to become a decent human being.”
Celebrate your body and its transformation! The best teen books for girls Sonya Renee Taylor. “Puberty brings many changes. Celebrate Your Body (And It’s Changes, Too!) will help girls understand and love their bodies now and as they continue to grow.”
You-ology: A Guide to Menstruation for Every Body By Melissa Holmes, Trish Hutchison, and Catherine Rowe. “What if learning about changing your body wasn’t something secret or shameful? And what if it could be inclusive, fun, and loving? A new kind of puberty guide, You-Hak Adopt a comprehensive approach that normalizes puberty for all children.”
Every Body Book: A guide to LGBTQ+ inclusion for children, sexuality, gender, bodies and families. By Rachel E. Simon. “This vivid and beautifully illustrated book teaches children about sex, gender, and relationships in a way that is inclusive of all sexual orientations and gender identities.”
libraries and schools
Oh my gosh, there are so many great books we would like to recommend. This is just a choice!
You might want to check out the teen section at your local library. Keep in mind that some older books may use outdated or non-inclusive language. No one book can be a perfect resource for a family, but you can always discuss the “less than perfect” aspects of sex education books in light of your family's beliefs and priorities.
We also encourage parents to ask their child's school about their sex education plans for this year. Sex education is a required curriculum in BC schools, but quality and consistency can vary greatly across districts and schools.
It may be helpful to check whether comprehensive sex education is offered wherever your child goes. This way, you'll know that you're not the only questioning adult your child can talk to about puberty!
Schools can choose to have their own teachers who deliver the curriculum, bring in experts such as sexual health education program options (in-person or virtual), or organize workshops for adults who can ask questions. Check out our website for more details.
And of course, any aspiring adult who can ask questions can contact us directly to find out more!
*Note: All questions we receive have been altered to maintain customer confidentiality.
sex sense It's a free, pro-choice, sex-positive and confidential service. Our team of registered nurses, counselors and sex educators provide information and resources about sex, sexual orientation and sexual health. Opening hours and contact information can be found here: www.sexsense.org.