Daryl Davis is black. He is a black man who spent countless hours in Ku Klux Klan rallies (KKK). He invited KKK leaders to his home… and dined with these people.
You may be asking yourself, “Why does Mr. Davis do this?” Is he some kind of weird racist who hates his own race? The answer to this is clearly NO. He does this because he believes Americans don't have enough conversations with people who believe differently than they do. Typically, we stick to our own “tribe.” This leads to linear thinking: “We are good and they are bad.” Groups stereotype other groups and attribute those characteristics to other groups without facts.
The main premise upon which Mr. Davis operates is simple. “How can you hate me if you don’t know me?” So he broke down the barrier. He befriended people who claimed to hate him. He was polite. He listened. He found common ground. Mr. Davis allowed these Klansmen to know him as a human being. And in doing so, they had to internally wrestle with unfounded stereotypes. They believe that all black people are evil, lazy, and stupid, but when they meet a good, hard-working, smart black person, their naive prejudice becomes a myth.
As a result of these one-on-one interactions, over 200 Klansman renounced their KKK membership. More than one Grand Wizard (leader) left the clan and presented Mr. Davis with a robe.
Joe's perspective: Today is Martin Luther King Jr. holiday. It is a day designated to commemorate this man and many others' progress in the civil rights movement. I wrote about MLK and featured him in my Role Models book https://characterandleadership.com/martin-luther-king-jr-composure/. I admire his philosophy of non-violent resistance. He believed that you cannot fight hate with hate. He would rather fight hatred with love. He taught us to love our enemies. In the example above, I believe Mr. Davis is demonstrating a similar successful strategy. While MLK is changing the world, Mr. Davis is changing individuals. To me, that's a beautiful thing.
Personal example: When I was about 20 years old, I worked as a valet at Amway Grand Plaza. I worked the night shift. There were only two people working in this huge hotel – a front desk clerk and a valet. There wasn't much to do between 3 a.m. and 5 a.m., so I talked to the front desk staff regularly. One of those front desk employees was a gay man named Frank. Before I met Frank, I had a lot of negative stereotypes about homosexuals. My conversation with Frank made me question unfounded stereotypes. Frank loved sports and rock and roll. We agreed on politics. He was fun. By the end of the summer I considered him a friend. I can't paint all homosexuals with the same brush. It's called growth.
What can you do? Many of us wonder what we can do to improve race relations, but many of us struggle to know what to do. Mr. Davis provides a practical example for us to follow. Start by making an effort to talk to people who look different or believe differently than you do. Be nice. Initiate conversations intentionally and consistently. Listen without judgment. Please express your opinions respectfully. Find common ground. Create understanding. Breaking down stereotypes and prejudices one interaction at a time. On a small scale, this is what Mr. Davis did, and on a large scale, so was Martin Luther King Jr.
It's your turn: What can you personally do to strengthen unity among people and minimize hatred between people?