Today we will cover a very sensitive topic. That is, genital trauma.
And while it may be difficult to talk about, it's definitely something that needs to be discussed overall.
The goal is to start a global conversation with the right support. But this may be a big idea.
That's why we want to approach this topic with the resources we have.
As a result, many people are experiencing unbearable pain, both physically and mentally. psychologicalWe want to offer comfort in the form of tools that can help you deal with this type of trauma.
The term ‘reproductive trauma’ may seem somewhat ambiguous.
And the way we will talk about this very sensitive topic is in a way that addresses all forms of loss, including the following processes: become a parent.
Some examples of reproductive trauma include, but are not limited to:
In other words, reproductive trauma is a spectrum. And everyone who experiences it will have a unique experience that often includes feelings of sadness and pain.
Reproductive Trauma: A Gateway to Other Forms of Pain
In the realm of reproductive trauma, the trauma itself may lead to other forms of heartache and pain. Not related to reproductive trauma.
For example, if someone has experienced a miscarriage, they may be experiencing the pain associated with not being able to become a parent.
They may have been mentally preparing to have a child and/or may have created a special space in their home for their unborn child. All of this can shatter your dreams. This makes this type of trauma extremely difficult and complex.
But there are ways to overcome trauma.
Reproductive trauma: a qualitative study.
A study conducted in late 2022 by two researchers, Clay and Marjorie Brigance, follows: research They were experiencing first-hand reproductive trauma (infertility followed by complicated pregnancies).
This study was designed using duoethnography, a collaborative research method in which the researcher himself becomes the subject of the experiment.
The two researchers, in this case a couple, used open dialogue as a means of comparing and contrasting their own experiences, as well as tools such as listening, interrogating, and questioning themselves and their partners.
Throughout the study, they recorded their trials and tribulations through in-depth conversations and journal entries. What they found was that the experience of reproductive trauma was ambiguous, making it difficult to actually grieve.
“When physical death occurs, we have rituals to process this loss. However, there is no awareness of the grief of infertility or early miscarriage. “We often suffer in silence.” The research couple says:
Here are the biggest takeaways from our research: talk about it, so that it is no longer a scary secret. And how important it is to actually sit with your feelings rather than trying to fix them.
“The more we talk about it, the more we can standardize it.” Researchers say:
Outcome: Trauma and Attachment Styles
At the end of the study, the couple discovered some interesting facts.
They found that unprocessed trauma reduces empathy, resulting in an avoidant-anxious attachment style.
this kind of Attachment Style This is when, instead of craving intimacy, you become wary of intimacy with others and try to avoid emotional connections. Instead, they would rather rely on themselves during times of suffering.
Besides, they did As a result of processing trauma through empathic communication and spiritual connection, their attachment style was a more stable marital attachment.
This attachment style consists of a person who highly values their own self-esteem and ability to be themselves in relationships. They also actively seek support and comfort from their partners, and are happy for their partners to do the same.
These findings allowed the researchers to summarize their findings into three ways people can overcome reproductive trauma.
3 Ways to Help You Overcome Reproductive Trauma
If you or someone you know is experiencing reproductive trauma, the following three pieces of advice may be helpful.
1. Realize that you are not alone
As mentioned above, dealing with reproductive trauma can be difficult because it can be ambiguous. If you don't know what to do, it can be difficult to accept or overcome trauma and you may feel extremely isolated.
But at these times, you have to remind yourself that you are not alone. The more you talk about it, the more comfort and sadness you can experience.
For this, it will be very important to find a community or people who truly understand and empathize with you.
2. Accept your emotions as they are and don’t try to ‘fix’ them.
Research has shown that when one partner validates the other's feelings, it is more effective than trying to “fix” or “solve” them.
““It means that if you want to experience relational intimacy, you have to sit with the pain.” Brigance says: “‘This is so hard. I see your hurt.’”
3. Don’t let outside opinions influence you or dictate how you feel.
It's natural for people to want to give you advice or guidance. But just because everyone has their own opinion doesn't mean that opinion is right or valid.
If you decide to seek outside advice, remember that not all of it will be helpful. Anyone can think and have feelings about parenthood, but only you know what trauma feels like.
At times like these, it may be best to turn to a partner or a mental health professional as you grieve.
If you are experiencing reproductive trauma, I hope these tips and information help you in some way.
But talking about your pain instead of trying to resolve it may be the best way to deal with your grief. If you're feeling sad, get closer to your partner. You are not alone and your feelings are valid.