Dear We are Teachers,
I am a third grade teacher with 10 years of experience. I used to love the end of the year, but now I dread it. Not only are there a lot of celebrations – class-wide graduations, private graduations, on-campus parties, off-campus parties – but all of them are exhausting and excessive. I found myself having to deal with vendors, secure space for a DJ to set up his station in our classroom, and become the de facto slide monitor for the bounce house. Not to mention having to pose for what looks like a thousand pictures instead of attending and actually having fun with the students. I love my students and want to celebrate another great year with them. How can I set boundaries around all my trash next year?
—How do I cancel my subscription?
Dear HDIU,
This is a difficult time for all teachers, but for elementary teachers it is a time with some sparkle. Oftentimes, parents get so caught up in the “fun” part that they forget that there’s a “safe” part in both the real and digital worlds.
I don't think the “let's cut back on celebrations” fight is a fight you want to fight, and I don't think you're saying that. From what I've heard, you (obviously!) don't want to be the party coordinator anymore.
I think this is something I should completely convey to the parents of the class. Have your principal run this email (or a version of it). This email can be sent at the beginning of the year as well as again in April.
“hi ____,
One of my favorite parts of the school year is time to celebrate! I love all the creative and fun ideas parents come up with to recognize their students' growth and accomplishments throughout the year.
Although we're happy to attend events and have fun, it's also important to keep our students safe and focused on learning. For this reason, I ask parents to share the following tasks:
- We research your interests, preferences, dates, and more.
- Plan activities, food, snacks, etc.
- Volunteers and Shift Coordination
- Supervising or encouraging anything that distracts from the group's safety
- Installation and removal
I would also like to reiterate our school's social media policy. [insert policy here]. “Please take care to follow these guidelines as your celebration progresses.”
Then, the first time you blow up 200 balloons (no), or are asked to check your school's clown policy (no), or are asked to drag your parent's giant thousand-dollar cooler into the kitchen and fill it with ice (no) ), you can do it like this: Please politely remind parents of these guidelines.
Also, don't be near them while they are getting ready. Go get a diet coke or something because you're in a meeting.
Dear We are Teachers,
Yesterday, as I was walking to dismissal, a teammate (who I don't really get along with) was grabbing a fourth grader by the wrist and pulling him to the back of the line. I tried to intervene as she kept pulling, and eventually the student pushed her, causing her to run away. When a teammate yelled at the student for “assaulting” him, I intervened and yelled, “If you hadn't put your hands on him, he wouldn't have hurt you.” It wasn't my best moment with her, but there were definitely moments that got me seething with her.
I spoke with the principal, who thanked me for letting me know and honestly told me that he could not give me a professional answer. Nonetheless, he sent me a meeting invitation to talk about what had happened. I'm worried that I'll get scolded if I yell in front of my students. Did I do something wrong?
—I am here for safe schools
Dear IJHFTSS,
I don't think you're in trouble. As a teacher, I also got angry and screamed when I saw a student get hurt. As a principal, I would be outraged if one of my teachers laid hands on a student (unless it was in self-defense). And as a parent, what if the teacher got angry and grabbed my child? Suffice it to say that there will be verbal accusations the likes of which the world has never heard before..
My spy sense is telling me that you were probably called into that meeting to write a statement that would be used against the wrist-grabbing teacher. It sounds like she has some very serious responsibilities for the principal, and she's lucky you intervened.
But if you run into any problems here, don't panic. After the meeting, smile, nod, and go directly to your school union representative. An administrator who does not immediately intervene when a teacher touches a student is not an administrator who should be in charge of a child.
Dear We are Teachers,
I was in a heavy metal band in my teens and early twenties (25 years ago), the photos of which are impossible to scrub from the internet. Trust me. I tried it. I am in my 8th year of teaching middle school math. This means that over the past 7.8 years, my students have been googling my name and spreading this information around.
I know this isn't a big problem, but it's a bit perplexing. Every time I (someone else) mentions activities in class and getting to know faculty, it seems to hit home the point. Should I just get over it, or is there something I can do to avoid looking like a completely boring person?
—A clean-up rock star, perhaps even boring.
Dear WURS,
“Shame on you” is reason enough to stop! It's a valid feeling (and it can feel very distracting and uncomfortable at work). Here are some ideas to consider:
- Hire a professional to clean your internet. They'll have the ability and experience to say to a company or individual, “Hey, put this down or I'm going to sue you.” If that doesn't work:
- Send a friendly but clear email to your colleague letting them know you're not okay with old band photos being used as punchlines. They're probably bringing it up because you think it's funny too. But setting these boundaries will go a long way in setting the tone for your students. Acknowledging that you don't think anyone is bringing this up maliciously will go a long way toward making the email feel less awkward.
- Lean in. great. This is my wildcard idea, so you can reject it if you want. However, I think that if you take ownership of this situation, you will feel less embarrassed and awkward. Explore the idea of bringing a guitar and playing for students or participating in a talent show. You might blow up one of your photos as a rock star. “Yes, it’s me. Yes, I know I rule.” Hang it in your classroom so that when your students think they've uncovered a dark secret, they already know it.
In the end, this is it. your Comfort level though. If you're having a recurring problem that makes it difficult to do your job or just makes you feel awkward, you have the right to ask your co-workers for help to put a stop to the problem.
Do you have any questions? Please email askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.
Dear We are Teachers,
I put off getting a dog throughout college and teaching for the first few years of my life because I wanted to wait until I could provide a happy life for him. I live alone and it takes about 30 minutes to get to school. But now that I'm financially stable, have summer vacations, have an easy schedule, and live in an apartment with a dog park, I think I can be a great dog owner. I paid a deposit to get an English Springer Spaniel puppy right around the time school starts, so I have time to train her. My parents are angry, saying it is too cruel to have a dog in class. What are your thoughts?
—Completely prepared