LLast month, I was sitting in my sister's living room when she told me that one of her kids was not feeling well and had to come home early from school. Even though she didn't specify her illness, my mind immediately jumped to what could be wrong. To me, “not feeling well” has always been code for more than a common cold or mild fever. He must have a stomach bug.I thought about it.
At that moment, the ceiling of her house began to hit me. Her sister confirmed that her own 7-year-old had norovirus, a virus that causes vomiting and diarrhea. (According to her mom group chat, it was circulating in his second grade classroom.) She said my reaction was oh so Predictable. Predictable means that a person who is afraid of flying may react by sweating, panicking, and feeling a little nauseous before takeoff. The reaction I felt at that moment. It is so unpleasant and unbearable that it reaches the point of hysteria.
Only in recent years have I learned that the anxiety-filled response to situations like this has a name: emetophobia.
What is emetophobia?
“Emetophobia is the fear of vomiting. Some people are afraid of vomiting on their own, and some people are afraid of being around other people who might vomit.” says Amanda Petrik-Gardner, LPC, a therapist who specializes in obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and phobias. Petrik-Gardner says emetophobia is a chronic, debilitating condition that causes people to avoid situations or activities that may increase their risk of vomiting, such as boating or riding roller coasters, or even refuse to take medications that may make them anxious. stomach.
Petrik-Gardner says emetophobia can lead to excessive compulsion, which helps people cope with the anxiety surrounding vomiting. This includes checking sensations (e.g., constantly self-assessing for signs of nausea or gastrointestinal problems), seeking reassurance (“Do I feel like I’m going to throw up?”, “Does this milk smell?”, “Won’t I get sick?”). It may look like: ”) and carry medications or other items “just in case,” she says.
I'm really afraid of vomiting. It doesn't matter what causes it – food poisoning, motion sickness, migraines, or simple nausea. All of these scenarios can fill me with fear.
All of these symptoms really fit my experience to a T. (In elementary school, I was the kid who suggested bringing my own trash can to class, just in case.) I'm really scared of the vomit, whether it's mine or not. Or someone else's. It doesn't matter what causes it – food poisoning, motion sickness, migraines, or simple nausea. All of these scenarios and their possibilities can send me into fear and all-or-nothing thinking. (Example: “Oh, he must be vomiting because of his illness. me throw up.”)
Emetophobia can be debilitating and severely limit one's life. Unfortunately, not many people “get” it. Although It is estimated to be around 7% for women and 3% for men.One However, there is still very little research and it is not well understood in the medical community. And in my experience, even outside of the hospital, many people disparage it as trivial or easy to overcome. I remember when the middle school boys in my class found out about my phobia, they would pretend to joke and get a reaction out of me.
According to Jaclyn Alper, LPC, emetophobia (and the anxiety it causes) has a lot to do with a lack of control. Vomiting is an involuntary act, and when people with emetophobia feel nauseous, they often worry that it will escalate into vomiting. These fears can lead to a variety of coping mechanisms as the worrier maintains a false sense of control and attempts to prevent themselves from getting sick, Alper says. Think about it: avoiding a new restaurant to prevent potential illness from unfamiliar food, or refraining from bars or places that serve alcohol out of an intense fear of vomiting.
When fears collide with parenting dreams
As I watched my sister raise four beautiful children, I finally understood how far avoidance behavior can go. The four beautiful children were intelligent, strong and beautiful little carriers of elementary school illness. “how Are you going to have children someday?” My sister would ask me when she saw my 3-year-old panicking because he had a stomach ache. (3-year-old child with stomachache…because he ate too many packs of fruit snacks.)
I always wanted to be a parent. But the very thought of having a child will immediately give way to very vivid and intrusive thoughts about the child being sick. I will be chaperoning my daughter's museum field trip. On the other hand, she stood next to my bed and she woke me up in the middle of the night and told me she had just vomited. It was enough to stop me before I even started. I had to admit that my sister had a point. do Am I planning to have children?
This is a question written by Lauren Cook, a clinical psychologist, psychologist, and psychologist. The Anxious Generation: A Millennial and Gen Z Guide to Surviving Uncertain Times, I once asked myself this. “She almost never had her child because of the worry,” she says. Dr. Cook, who also has emetophobia, says that going through an emetophobia and pregnancy (hello, morning sickness!) and then raising a child who inevitably throws up was enough for her to never develop those symptoms in the first place. “And that only The throwing up part! How will a baby affect my career, my finances, my marriage, all of which I have worked so hard to achieve?” she says
Dr Cook says becoming a parent is often seen as making life more uncertain. “When we were struggling for stability in an unpredictable world, it seemed almost comical to let go of the lack of control we had over parenthood.” For some people with emetophobia, who already struggle with uncertainty, becoming a parent isn't just challenging or burdensome. It feels completely impossible. It's almost impossible not to check the nearest trash can or toilet for impending illness. impossible enough Make someone stop their parenting journey2 Before we even start.
This feeling also applies to Christina*, a 25-year-old copy editor based in LA. “I have had emetophobia for as long as I have cognitive memory,” she says. The fear of vomiting was so severe that by the age of 4 or 5, I was so afraid of being sick that I didn't want to be around people or even leave the house. She struggled to reconcile her emetophobia with her desire to have children. She told her husband about her own condition at the time of her marriage. She said, “I was like, 'Man, this is what I'm dealing with.'”
Finding a way to become a parent
When Christina and her husband suddenly had a son just a few months apart, he provided unwavering support. He understood that her anxiety could be heightened by her morning sickness, the possibility of nausea during childbirth, or the prospect of caring for an unwell child in the future. Christina says having a supportive partner has calmed her anxiety, and she's done reasoning-based cognitive behavioral therapy (a specific form of CBT designed to help treat obsessions, phobias, and obsessive-compulsive disorders). “Even though I wasn’t completely prepared for pregnancy, I recognized that these steps would help me during the postpartum period,” she says.
A supportive and understanding partner is important, especially when having children, but Petrik-Gardner notes that treatment can be equally important when emetophobia overwhelms one's life. “Some clinicians are using cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), an evidence-based treatment for emetophobia. In this therapy, they explore the faulty reasoning processes that lead clients to engage in obsessive stories about how they vomit, even though this is not actually happening,” she says.
Clinicians may also try exposure and response prevention (ERP) behavioral therapy, which is designed to slowly introduce people to situations designed to trigger obsessions in a safe environment. In sessions, therapists help patients resolve their fear of vomiting by gradually exposing them to anxiety-provoking stimuli (such as thoughts or images related to vomiting) and teach them coping mechanisms to reduce avoidance behavior. This is the most evidence-based. Treating Phobias, Panic Attacks, Social Anxiety, and OCDthree.
“Through exposure, I realized that I could tolerate discomfort, that vomiting, although not fun, was a temporary and survivable condition, and that I didn't have to let fear dictate my decisions.” —Lauren Cook, PsyD, licensed clinical psychologist
Dr. Cook says ERP was particularly effective in helping people decide to have children. “Because actively facing our fears proves that we can tolerate discomfort, no matter how difficult it may be.” With the help of her ERP, she was specifically exposed to seeing, hearing, and participating in everything that was thrown up. “This has been done gradually, to be careful not to cause a ‘flood’ and to be careful not to cause further trauma to ourselves with content that is inherently very provocative,” she said. Instead, Dr. Cook studied exposure.
“I learned that throwing up is disgusting. Most people would say this. But it's not life or death, as my brain told me in the past. I realized that I could tolerate discomfort through exposure, that vomiting, although not fun, was a temporary and survivable condition, and that I didn't have to let fear dictate my decisions,” says Dr. Cook.
Dr. Cook also notes that although she loved exposure therapy, she was also quick to turn to coping skills. “I’m not about gritting my teeth and enduring discomfort without additional support,” she says. During her pregnancy, she relied on a variety of tools, including sour lozenges, electric acupressure bands, nightly Unisom, and calming spells to help manage morning sickness and the anxiety it caused. She even hired a doula because her labor made her vomit often, and she wanted to get into a healthy headspace.
She admits that managing her emetophobia, on top of the general challenges of pregnancy, has been a challenge. But she has no regrets. Her son brings her immense happiness that she could not have known if she had not faced her fears. “And I made him vomit on me several times,” she says. “I have had gastritis twice. And guess what? “It was no big deal.” Just a few years ago, she could never have imagined saying those words and meaning them.
Christina feels the same way. She says that through her therapy and the support of her partner, who truly understands her own phobia, she realized that her own phobia diagnosis and being her parent were not mutually exclusive. “I want to provide a hopeful tone for those who are on the fence,” she says, noting that her emetophobia alone is not enough to prevent the joy her five-and-a-half-year-old son gives her.
These feelings bring me comfort and reassurance that a diagnosis that is still widely misunderstood is offered valuable resources and a community of support. Personally, when the time comes to consider having children, I will do so knowing that emetophobia need not and should not be a deciding factor in my decision. And if I choose that path, I know there are ways to manage the fears that have held me and many others back for so long.
*Last name has been kept confidential.
Well+Good articles reference scientific, credible, recent and robust research to support the information we share. You can trust us on your wellness journey.
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Maack, Danielle J, et al. “Exposure Treatment for Emetophobia: A Case Study with 3-Year Follow-up.” Journal of Anxiety Disorders volume. 27,5(2013): 527-34. doi:10.1016/j.janxdis.2013.07.001
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Nath, Selina et al. “Characteristics and prevalence of pregnancy phobia.” midwifery volume. 82 (2020): 102590. doi:10.1016/j.midw.2019.102590
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Lo, Clara, and Christina L Boisseau. “Exposure and response prevention in the treatment of obsessive-compulsive disorder: Current perspectives.” Psychology Research and Behavior Management volume. 12 1167-1174. December 24, 2019, doi:10.2147/PRBM.S211117
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