hi! A worthless hunk of trash, a certified lunatic, a sexually unfit poster child for syphilis walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hello, Mr. Putin!”
I will never forget the first time I heard about Vladimir Putin. But I'll keep trying!Hey-oooo!!! To be fair, I thought about him this morning and I want to thank him for it. It reminded me that today is Garbage Day! Boo-dush!
Have you ever seen President Putin's face? It makes onions cry. But seriously, don't be ashamed of who you are, Vlad. That's what happens to the rest of the world. But honestly, you really bring joy to people’s faces when you leave the room!Bonus!
Bottom line, your birth certificate is just an apology letter from a condom factory, and everyone thinks you were born on the highway because most accidents happen on the highway.
thank you Good morning! meyetStand with Ukraine.
cheers and ridicule Wednesday February 28, 2024
memo: Tomorrow is leap day. Please wear stockings appropriate for the situation. —management
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By numbers:
3 days!!!
Days left until St. Patrick's Day: 16
Until the day downtown Ithaca Chili Cook-Off: three
How much Trump will have to pay for each day he doesn't pay his New York fraud fine: $112,000
New home sales in January increased 1.5% compared to December. 661,000
Number of miles on a runaway train carrying a thousand passengers India It was traveling at speeds close to 50 mph. 40
Number of trains running daily India: 11,000
Here are the 18 years Reddit has been profitable: 0
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WeekdayRapture Quotient: 187 (4 Satanism and 1 Upcoming Angel Pocalypse).If you are walking among pagans today, we recommend using Soul Protection Factor 12 lotion.
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Dog photo of the day: in Baton Rouge… ..Saved!!!
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Cheers To attack. In a classic example of “the dog catches the car,” the MAGA cult (RIP, the once proud Republican Party) saw their wish come true when the Alabama Supreme Court deemed them microscopic pieces of a slimy, fully formed human being with all rights and privileges. . Made in America Citizenship. USA! USA!And now, if even one embryo is lost, mom and dad could be sent to prison for the rest of their lives. MuuuuuudderThe madness of the right is on full display. Democrats plan to hammer On reproductive rights issues:
According to plans first shared with NBC News, the Democratic National Committee on Tuesday will begin advertising on dozens of billboards across Arizona, Florida, Georgia, Michigan, Nevada, North Carolina, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin with messages linking Trump to the IVF ruling. It is expected. Here's a quote from when he boasted about his ability to overturn Roe.
The ad is the latest example of the Democratic Party's focus on abortion and reproductive rights, highlighting how important these issues are expected to play in the fall election.
Meanwhile, the RNC plans to fight back with a massive billboard campaign of its own. Or rather, they would if they weren't preparing to shell out all their cash to pay Trump's legal fees. Oh well. Since when has an army ever shown up unarmed and lost a battle?
picnictoreallyLive up to expectations. Breaking news that will surprise no one: The government will close this FridayAnd the MAGA toddlers at home have absolutely no idea what they are going to do about it.
There is still no clear way to prevent a partial government shutdown this weekend. [two]Congress is approaching a major funding deadline.
Chairman Johnson's trying times. Now he has less time to search for porn on devices his son doesn't know about.
Lawmakers had hoped to release a bipartisan spending agreement Sunday evening, but the bill has not yet been released. High-level disagreements on policy issues remain, with House Speaker Mike Johnson, a Louisiana Republican, under enormous pressure from the right.To fight for a conservative victory.
With the clock ticking toward the deadline, Senate Democrats expressed anger and frustration at the growing risk of a shutdown Monday, with many blaming House Republicans for the stalemate.
Despite the negative press, Republicans say everyone should calm down and relax. Because they have a variety of options to choose from: flail, wild flail, hysterical flail, angry flail, seductive flail, persistent resolution. This is where the fiscally responsible party comes into play.
CheersA helping hand. Happy Peace Corps Week! Organization founded by John F. Kennedy in 1961I turned 63 today.And still keep up the good work.
At the invitation of foreign governments since 1961,More than 240,000 Americans have served in the United States and countries around the world as Peace Corps volunteers.
JFK greets Peace Corps volunteers in 1962.
Currently, more than 2,400 volunteers are working with community members in 58 countries to address the ongoing impacts of COVID-19 and climate change, working locally across the Peace Corps' six areas of work: Agriculture, Community Economic Development, Education, Environment, and Health. Addresses development priorities. , developing youth.
This year's theme, “Optimism in Action,” celebrates the many ways the Peace Corps partners with communities to confront enormous challenges and embodies an unwavering belief in the possibility of positive change through active and hopeful engagement. This theme highlights the critical role of resilience, adaptability and sustainable change in overcoming global challenges and fostering peace in a dynamically complex world.
63 years later, this job is still “the hardest job you’ll ever love.” Especially if you take a few cases of Bacardi with you. And lime. I can't stand it without lime.
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brief mental break
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Take a moment to calm down and relax.
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picnic On sticky fingers. On February 28, 2007, two Picasso paintings worth approximately $66 million were sold for auction. swipe At the artist's granddaughter's Paris home. The following August, three thieves were arrested. When asked why they stole the paintings, they said they were sick of seeing cat posters all day saying “Cheer up, it’s almost Friday”.
Cheers to win in wolverenesituation. that much Michigan Democratic Party The presidential primary ended successfully last night. That means it's time to head out to the backyard and dig out that sealed mayonnaise jar containing the web exclusive predictions I wrote down back in 1988. I'll be back soon…
pious pious. Densely.
Okay, I'm back. And the winner is Dennis Kucinich. congratulation. On Super Tuesday!
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At C&J 10 years ago: February 28, 2014
picnicBad timing. So I decided to dive into this exciting world. Bitcoin, the trendy, edgy equivalent of a rebellious teenager who burns down this soul-crushing steel mill town to pursue his dream of living in the big city and becoming a dancer. So I left the last $350 million in an unassailable position.”mountain.Gox' Bitcoin exchange and…and…
Major Bitcoin Websites exchangemountain. Gox was taken offline Tuesday following reports of serious thefts, a new setback for efforts to gain legitimacy for the cryptocurrency. Tokyo based URL mountain.gox A blank page was returned. … A theft of this magnitude would equate to a loss of $350 million at current Bitcoin prices.
Oh well. There are only 12 years left until Social Security begins. 🙁
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And one more thing…
Cheers Shooting the wind. This is not a new German ad. It's been over ten years, but I'm glad I found out about it. Although the award-winning ad went through several drafts, its hard work and dedication to creativity paid off and it won quite a few awards. In fact, it is inspiring and stands the test of time as an important lesson in turning potential into power.
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By the way, the actor is Guillaume Delauney, and we give him big props (don't kill me).
Have a happy humday. Floor open…what are you rooting for or mocking today?
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Today’s Shameless C&J Recommendation
Look, Bill needs to go in. Portlandmain develop. As a children's pool swimmer, I want him to succeed.