One of the most powerful quotes I have ever read has stuck in my mind for years. This is from a book by Robert Greenleaf. servant leadershipHe writes, “The most difficult question to ask yourself is, ‘Does what I say improve silence?’”
The problem is that many people in leadership roles talk too much. The impact is multifaceted. Leaders who talk too much:
- It creates unnecessary disengagement in organizations as people struggle to turn random thoughts into unintentional actions.
- Create a dependency that can seem like learned helplessness to those they lead.
- Leave no room for them to learn from those they lead.
If you're a senior leader and you're seeing one or more of these dynamics at play in your organization, there's a good chance you're talking too much. Here are three things you can do to get into the habit of talking less and listening more.
Use 7 second delay: Broadcasters often use a seven-second delay during live events to signal words or moments that should not be aired. The same principles can be used in meetings and conversations. If you feel the urge to talk, count to seven and see what happens. You are more likely to create a space for others to share their thoughts. You might conclude that what you want to say isn't that important in the first place. Or you might conclude that it's worth talking about. Either way, it's worth the wait.
keep score: Score who uses the most airtime and set it to check your own conversation patterns and the conversation patterns of others in the meeting. It's simple to do. When the meeting starts, write down the names of everyone present in a notebook, and add hash marks next to their names when someone speaks. And it's not just them. Be sure to put a hash next to their name when you chat. Soon you will have a visual record of who is talking the most. If this is you, consider being quiet for a while. If you're anyone else, ask the silent people what they think and bring more voices into the conversation.
Ask more questions: A proven way to talk less and get others to talk more is to ask good questions. The best questions are open-ended and usually start with the word what. They're the kind of things that make people think and engage. If you ask them, they develop people by helping them think critically and solve problems on their own. I recently shared a list of good questions on how to lead with Socratic questioning in this post. In meetings this week, try to vary the ratio of statements to questions.
How about you? What strategies have worked for you to talk less and listen more? Share your tips in the comments on LinkedIn or send us an email.
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