Four women who came together with the common goal of supporting their children in school formed lasting friendships. They share how joining a parent support group helped them navigate their children's development and their personal journey as parents.
Sabrina Lee
When a group of mothers first joined the Parent Support Group (PSG) at Anchor Green Primary School (AGPS) in 2015, they simply wanted to play an active role in supporting their sons' school events. Their involvement at PSG set the stage for an enduring friendship that lasted almost a decade.
From PSG members to friends, Loh Tang Ling, Tan Lay Hong, Soh Ai Ling and Elizabeth Zhang have relied on each other over the years to navigate the joys and tricky parts of parenthood.
“Nothing lightens a burden like laughing together. Parenting can sometimes be a comedy full of mistakes, and it feels good to have other people who appreciate your moments,” says Loh.
When their sons were in elementary school, the four women caught up with their sons while they were playing at a local playground (pictured above).
Mr. Zhang recalls the conversation that solidified their friendship. Ms. Loh told her an interesting incident. “Her son, who was in fifth grade at the time, accidentally stabbed her in the thigh with a pencil. “She was in tears because she was afraid she was going to die when her friend told her that lead was poisonous,” she said. She added with a smile. “Tang Ling held back her laughter as she reassured her son that he would be okay.”
“Parenting can sometimes be a comedy full of mistakes, and it feels good to have other people who appreciate your moments.”
Find friendship in a parent support group
Their active participation in PSG brought the two closer. From learning sewing skills for quilting projects to coordinating school activities, they understood the importance of supporting their children's teachers in planning and managing activities.
They all agree that being a teacher is not an easy task. “Whenever possible, I expressed my gratitude to the teachers who were patient with the children and never gave up,” says Tan.
The four friends took part in recess activities during Mother Tongue Week at AGPS in 2017, organizing games such as chapteh for students.
In addition to PSG-related events, the women planned outings with their children to family-friendly locations such as Sembawang Hot Springs.
As they engaged in more conversations and activities, the four women discovered that they had a common parenting approach that focused on guiding children to reach their full potential rather than imposing expectations on them.
“Whenever we get anxious, we ask each other for help and calm each other down. Together we have navigated our sons’ PSLE, O-level and A-level journey,” says Mr Loh.
The women also went to open houses together and treated it like a group outing. Afterwards, they compared notes on what each school had to offer.
Supporting Each Other Through COVID-19
Even the COVID-19 pandemic (global pandemic) could not separate them. “We stayed in constant contact, calling and messaging each other to share how we were coping. It was a way for all of us to stay sane during these difficult times,” Mr Loh said.
The four women ensured that their sons were well-engaged in home-based learning, maintained proper eating habits and had fun while the children were home all day. “The children couldn’t go to the playground or other places to burn off energy, so we had to get creative,” says Soh.
During those difficult times, women exchanged advice on cooking meals so that children would not complain about repetitive dishes. Mr Tan noted that in addition to complaining of constant boredom, the boys kept asking for snacks throughout the day. She said, “I wondered why I was always hungry when there was only one recess at school.” Mr. Lo said wittily.
“We called and messaged each other to share how we were coping. “This was a way to keep us all sane during these difficult times.”
Their children also benefit from their parents' bond.
Like their mothers, the boys developed close friendships by helping each other with school work, revision, and test preparation.
(Left to right) Tony, Pin Quan, Javier and Chien Kiat practicing their math skills as they prepare for the PSLE.
For example, during the PSLE year, Mr. Loh's son, Chien Kiat, enthusiastically helped the boys review their math problems with questions prepared by his mother. target? To help my friends get better at math and move forward together.
When the children weren't studying, they often gathered downstairs to play badminton. Swimming is another sport they enjoy together, says Lo.
Always looking for ways for his sons to learn and bond, Mr Loh shares how he often enrolls his sons in groups for coding sessions or educational exhibitions at libraries and polytechnics.
After PSLE the four boys chose different educational paths but remain firm friends to this day.
Growing together as parents
Mr. Loh says: “As a mom, I love finding myself again now instead of always working at home and around my kids.” Here they are enjoying a meal at a new cafe they have been wanting to try.
As their children move through adolescence, the women now exchange insights on how to deal with their teenagers' emotions. “We have a responsibility to keep them safe, but we also respect their personal space. They need space to grow, develop their own identity and learn from their mistakes,” says Soh.
They also navigate the delicate line between being a supportive friend to their children and taking on the role of parent when necessary. “I once got ‘rebuked’ by them after I got angry and raised my voice in public with my son,” says Lo.
Mr. Zhang added that he and his friends are close enough that they can point out such issues without worrying about offending each other. “This requires very strong friendships.”
“Like all relationships, friendships take time to build. “If you are sincere and open-minded, you will make real friends.”
Looking back, I am glad I became a parent volunteer when my son was young.
Despite initially having doubts about the level of commitment required, Mr Lo said he had no regrets joining PSG. Although her son has long since graduated from elementary school, she still remains a mentor to AGPS' executive committee, sharing her own experiences. Mr. Ross also has a younger daughter who graduated from AGPS last year.
For busy parents who may be hesitant to sign up for their child's school PSG, she says: “Even if you only participate in one activity a year, it’s important. Your presence makes a difference. “Seeing parents involved helps children feel more connected to school.”
And who knows? Like the four women, you may develop friendships that will last a lifetime.
To all potential parent volunteers, Loh advises: “Like all relationships, friendships take time to build. “If you are sincere and open-minded, you will make real friends.”
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