From mismatched desires to unrealistic expectations, there are several negative side effects of watching too much porn on your sex life.
Whether as a guide to sex education or simply as a way to release dopamine and arouse sexual arousal, people have their own reasons for watching porn. Although most of these reasons are completely harmless, watching too much porn can be detrimental to your sex life.
A 2018 study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy found that individuals who watched too much porn were dissatisfied with their sex lives.
Why do people watch porn?
To understand how watching porn affects our lives, it's important to understand why people tend to enjoy watching porn. Niyatii N Shah, a sex educator, counselor, author and intimacy coach, says it's as natural as humans' inclination to have sex. When we feel sexually aroused (high), our brain releases a chemical called dopamine, which is like a feel-good messenger. It gives us pleasure and rewards for what our bodies deem important. This also includes sexual activity.
In addition to this, pornography contributes to psychological factors such as fantasy and imagination. “Watching porn is like entering a virtual world where people can explore their dreams and use their imagination. It’s like having a controlled space to think about things that might not happen in reality,” Shah tells Health Shots.
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Watching porn is also a way to relieve stress for some people. “When you are sexually aroused, endorphins are released. This hormone makes us feel good. It can act like a natural stress-relief button and help us feel more relaxed,” explains Shah.
Is watching porn bad for your relationship?
The impact of pornography on sexual relationships is a complex and nuanced topic. Although not inherently harmful, excessive or unrealistic porn consumption can potentially cause problems in intimate relationships. Here are some reasons why watching too much porn can have negative effects on your sex life:
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1. Unrealistic expectations
Pornography often presents stylized, scripted scenarios that may not reflect the diversity and complexity of real sexual experiences. “Viewing too much porn can lead to unrealistic expectations about body image, sexual behavior, and partner dynamics,” explains Shah.
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2. Communication problems
If not discussed openly and honestly, personal preferences or discomfort with certain aspects of porn can lead to communication barriers between partners. This is why porn is bad for you. “Expectations may not be aligned, and there may be some discomfort on the part of one partner. If not addressed, it can create tension,” she says.
3. Performance pressure
Regular exposure to high-performance scenes in pornography can increase performance pressure, causing individuals to feel inadequate or insecure about their sexual abilities. “These pressures can affect self-esteem and interfere with sexual pleasure,” explains Shah.
4. Reduced intimacy
Overreliance on porn for sexual satisfaction can reduce your focus on real-life intimacy and emotional connection with your partner. “If sexual interactions are primarily influenced by pornographic content, couples may have difficulty forming a deeper level of connection,” she says.
5. Concerns about addiction
Compulsive or addictive consumption of pornography can have a negative impact on a person's overall well-being and may reduce interest in actual sexual experiences. “Addiction can harm not only relationships but also mental health,” says the expert.
However, different couples respond differently to porn consumption. Some people find that incorporating porn into their relationships improves intimacy, while others may struggle. Open communication, mutual respect, and a shared understanding of boundaries are critical to navigating the potential impact of pornography on relationships.
How to enjoy porn safely?
This doesn't mean you shouldn't watch porn at all. With a few things in mind, you can continue to enjoy porn. It's very easy to look to porn for sexual inspiration. But in any case, it should not be the medium for sex education. “Although porn may depict sexual acts, the content is created for entertainment purposes and often includes scripted scenarios designed to fulfill fantasies,” explains Shah.
Beyond this, make sure your content depicts consensual and ethical practices between all parties involved. “It distinguishes between scripted scenarios in porn and real relationships and dynamics,” says Shah.
Also, be mindful of how often and for how long you consume porn so it doesn't become compulsive or interfere with your daily life.